Farm-to-table Fanatics Gifts

(Direct to the Consumer)

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

"Is the MSG local?"

COWS: Cow Pong

This Year's Spa

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Roasted Peppers

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"Uh, yeah, that looks a little too organic."

'Fresh eggs!'

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

"Should we try that new place in the corner?"

Repletion.

"Our greatest fears are confirmed, they've taken waffle fries off the menu."

Essential work against Coronavirus

"Sunday dinner just isn't the same without growth promoters"

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

"Your chicken was free-range, organically raised, and named Denise."

Waiting staff

'English is their second language.'

Meet the layer.

All You Can Eat

Olives

Cow can

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"

Surprised cook.

I thought we agreed, this birdbath was our little secret!

"He only wears it this time of the year. It's his har-vest."

Deli Special - 2 bean salad: 'We ran out of red beans.'