Farm-to-table Gifts

"He only wears it this time of the year. It's his har-vest."

"Your chicken was free-range, organically raised, and named Denise."

Food Grown And Sold by The Farmer - 2..and for an extra pound I'll eat it for you."

"I joined one of those sites where they send you fresh ingredients and you cook it yourself."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

"Is the MSG local?"

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"I'm sorry I bumped you, honey. Hello, tech support, I have a farmer in the Dell!"

Roasted Peppers

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

"Uh, yeah, that looks a little too organic."

'Fresh eggs!'

(Direct to the Consumer)

Essential work against Coronavirus

"Sunday dinner just isn't the same without growth promoters"

Olives

"Avez-vous Cocoa Puffs?"

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

'I don't suppose you have any grey poupon?'

Surprised cook.

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"

"We think it's terribly important that you meet the people responsible for the food you're eating tonight."

'Only the sauce was locally sourced.'

Something Grown Something Shot.

"Here's some baby spinach - from my soil to your plate."

'I'm sorry, but the free range chicken escaped.'

'I hate it when they take the food pyramid, mix it all together and serve it in a trough!'

"I'm taking out two acres of pecan trees and putting in a fifteen-thousand-square-foot colonic-irrigation facility."

Authentic Farm-2-Table Dining Experience

'What? Never heard of free range rearing?'