Farmhand Foodie T-Shirts

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"Is the MSG local?"

"They’re real."

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"Yup! Its time to feed the cattle."

'It's your fault. I told you to watch that wet spot.'

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

Roasted Peppers

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

'The trouble with living on a farm is there are too many things a child can do.'

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

'Fresh eggs!'

'Here's a job that sounds just like mine, oh-oh, it is mine.'

"Uh, yeah, that looks a little too organic."

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

"Sunday dinner just isn't the same without growth promoters"

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

Olives

Rancher builds fence around angry bull.

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

Surprised cook.

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

'I don't suppose you have any grey poupon?'

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of working with goats are the hardest.'

'Only the sauce was locally sourced.'

Farmer eating lunch on resting cow.