Foodie With A Farm Twist T-Shirts

"Don't look now, …. It's the other white meat."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"That's it. We’re toast."

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'Life is great' down on the farm.

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

How about going easy on the carbs

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

Country Bumpkin.

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

Advocado

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Flying sauces.

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'