Comedy Farmhand Pillows

Bloomin' ants!

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

A sure sign of rain

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"They’re real."

"Static cling."

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Yup! Its time to feed the cattle."

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'It's your fault. I told you to watch that wet spot.'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

'Here's a job that sounds just like mine, oh-oh, it is mine.'

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'