Farmhand Humorist Pillows

Talk about agricultural work.

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

A sure sign of rain

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

"Static cling."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."