Schoolyard Jokester Gifts

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'