Schoolyard Joker Gifts

"Check the lost and found. She said our behavior was making her loose her mind. We think she went to find it."

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"Recess does things to a man."

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

I miss recess!

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

'It's Johnny Taylor's snowsuit, but I don't think he's in there.'

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

'For show and tell today I've brought in the report cards of our teacher, which I downloaded!'

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

'No, fear isn't one of the basic taste sensations.'

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

"Aw, Miss! Why do you always pick on me to answer the questions?"

Littletown High School. And that's where Bubba Parker stomped me

"Hi Ginny, that's a nice new haircut you've got there. Are you trying to be cuter than me?"

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

'Quick! Get me the dispute resolution mediator!'

Final Exams Today

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

I wasn't cheating...I was getting a second opinion.

"So...what did you learn in school today, Baldo?"

Do I get extra credit for neatness?

Wow, you're right! Your mom's regurgitated worms are way better than my mom's!

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

"Since I'm your favorite student, do I even have to take this test?"

"It wasn't me jumping up and down and yelling in class. It was the sugar talking."

A teacher walks into a classroom full of chatting students; once he starts to talk the students fall asleep.