School Joker Gifts

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'The grades aren't MY fault -- I think Mrs. Pomeroy is teaching-disabled.'

Teacher: 'Billy-y-y! Keep your eyes on your own paper!'

'School was dismissed early -- the laugh track broke.'

I Carry Candy

"I don't play. As a teacher, I use the balls as feet for my student's desks."

"Take away the D and the C minuses, and that's a darn fine report card, Dad."

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

it's back to school time, Frank. I think I have everything I need. I have a new backpack, pens, pencils, erasers, notebooks and, of course, a mask. We don't need those anymore. Speak for yourself. Zzzzzzz.

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"