Schoolwork Jokers Gifts

"Well I just don't know. The geography homework does sound tasty but then again so does the history and the french."

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

it's back to school time, Frank. I think I have everything I need. I have a new backpack, pens, pencils, erasers, notebooks and, of course, a mask. We don't need those anymore. Speak for yourself. Zzzzzzz.

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"But, Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

"First period music always leaves me with a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day."

'It's a guess. I never said it was an educated guess.'

Student writing on blackboard - I will not egg the principal's car.

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''

"Aw, Miss! Why do you always pick on me to answer the questions?"

'No, fear isn't one of the basic taste sensations.'

'You got everyfink Bruv? Stink bombs, pea shooter, dead frogs . . .'

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

'What's our exit strategy?'

"This year, I'm starting school with a positive attitude! You have my word...I'm waiting till the second week of school to call it the worst year of my life."

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

"So...what did you learn in school today, Baldo?"

"I'm deleting history so there will be nothing to study for tomorrow's history test."

World Religions 101. Today's lecture is about minor denominations --- Stop calling it "sects education"!

"Since I'm your favorite student, do I even have to take this test?"