Academic Jokers Gifts

"Our panel of experts include. . .and Dan, who has listened to two different podcasts on this topic."

"Where am I going to find the perfect thesis topic that hasn't been on TikTok already?"

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

it's back to school time, Frank. I think I have everything I need. I have a new backpack, pens, pencils, erasers, notebooks and, of course, a mask. We don't need those anymore. Speak for yourself. Zzzzzzz.

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

'Hard or soft science?'

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"This'll show the Theology Department."

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

"The favourite practical joke amongst Big Bang theorists"

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

History. The worst past is my dad says they're still making history!

'Dr. Young is a professor at one of the nation's leading party schools.'

Laboratory: Protons /Electrons/Morons

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

"As a summation of our work it's pretty accurate...apart from the beginning, middle and end of all the words in between!"

'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

Thomas Carlyle

Undergraduate and don

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

That's Roderick Sloan, the Alvin Meriwether professor of business administration, and with him is Alvin Meriwether, the Roderick Sloan professor of economics.