Science Jokers Gifts

"There's a fly in my soup."

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

Once again her smile had failed to light up the room.

Intelligent people laugh too!

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

One of Many California Gene Pools

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

'By selective breeding over the course of 10,000 generations, we've managed to create the world's ugliest fruit fly!

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'

The Uterus in the form of a Ewe

"So a horse has 6 legs, forelegs at the front and 2 at the back?"

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

"You're on mute."

"It's the formula for a black hole."

'Kleinzweck has a theory that the strong nuclear force is actually tiny rolls of duct tape.'

'But it may be easier to understand the meaning of bioengineered life.'

'Lately, I've been thinking a lot about evolution. My theory is that it all points to 'survival of the fattest'.'

"You ghosts are pretty cool. I wish I could be more like you..."

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

"Information is moved via neurotransmitters from neuron to neuron via the synapses into the brain where it is then retrieved by the memory via a slap on the back of the head."

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

At first, Moses was worried about the manna from heaven.

There was a nasty bug going around.

'What are you talking about? ? how can you have half a quantum theory?'

"Ah - The 'Big Gang' theory."