Scientific Jokester Gifts

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

"It's the formula for a black hole."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

"Not now, Oliver."

Virtual Doctor

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

She loves to play with string theory.

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

How Glaciations Begin

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

The new Physics