Scientific Jokester Pillows

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

"It's the formula for a black hole."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

"Not now, Oliver."

Virtual Doctor

She loves to play with string theory.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

Cell Bar & Grill. Happy Hour All Day. The new owner is an endorphin.

How Glaciations Begin

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

Human Sex Chromosomes: Female/Male/Male Who Leaves Fly Open.

The new Physics