Science-savvy Jokester Pillows

"...so he comes back into the room, he turns around, he puts the chicken on the table and he says, "All right, potassium chloride.""

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

The Food Chain

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

She loves to play with string theory.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

How Glaciations Begin

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

"I haven't the slightest idea who he is. He came bundled with the software."

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

The new Physics

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

Evolution...the dandy lion.

Evolving/Devolving

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

Complex equation results in the conclusion that cats are better than dogs.

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

Evolution...the wifi rhino.