Science Jokesters Pillows

'When I asked for funding of my rooster egg laying research, I was told the chick is in the male.'

The Broken Clock That Is Wrong Twice A Day

Relativity explained; the woman on the train will always appear more attractive than the woman on the platform.

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

'Teenagers!'

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

'By selective breeding over the course of 10,000 generations, we've managed to create the world's ugliest fruit fly!

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

The Uterus in the form of a Ewe

"This'll show the Theology Department."

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

'Kleinzweck has a theory that the strong nuclear force is actually tiny rolls of duct tape.'

'Lately, I've been thinking a lot about evolution. My theory is that it all points to 'survival of the fattest'.'

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

'But it may be easier to understand the meaning of bioengineered life.'

At first, Moses was worried about the manna from heaven.

"It's the formula for a black hole."

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

"Information is moved via neurotransmitters from neuron to neuron via the synapses into the brain where it is then retrieved by the memory via a slap on the back of the head."

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

There was a nasty bug going around.

"Ah - The 'Big Gang' theory."

'What are you talking about? ? how can you have half a quantum theory?'

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

"Enough helium makes laughing gas."

"Oh our assistant, he was donated by a pharmaceutical company."

International Conference on Genetically Modified Crop Development.

Cambridge Dons Researching Gravity.