Humorist With A Science Streak Pillows

"I sure do have a family. There's my wife's DNA and my kid's DNA."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

The Food Chain

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

She loves to play with string theory.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

How Glaciations Begin

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

The new Physics

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

Complex equation results in the conclusion that cats are better than dogs.

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

Evolution...the dandy lion.

Evolving/Devolving

Evolution...the wifi rhino.