Cosmic Jokers Gifts

'It was an incredibly healing experience, but somehow, I still wound up dead!'

Sheltering in Space

"If only they could see your dark side."

'Now they want to know what you've done for them SINCE the Big Bang.'

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Not now, Oliver."

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

The Adventures of God

"Is it true Dad...is the Earth really made of bleu cheese?"

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

Pole Star

'Did you check the glove compartment? -- maybe you left the keys in there.'

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

Cosmonaughty

Newton's cradle

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

"You ghosts are pretty cool. I wish I could be more like you..."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

Climbing to the moon