Cosmic Jokers Gifts

'It was an incredibly healing experience, but somehow, I still wound up dead!'

Sheltering in Space

"If only they could see your dark side."

'Now they want to know what you've done for them SINCE the Big Bang.'

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

The Adventures of God

"Just for fun today we could fire some eggs around."

"Not now, Oliver."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Is it true Dad...is the Earth really made of bleu cheese?"

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

'Did you check the glove compartment? -- maybe you left the keys in there.'

Pole Star

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

Cosmonaughty

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

Newton's cradle

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

"You ghosts are pretty cool. I wish I could be more like you..."

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'