Cosmic Jokesters Gifts

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

'Hold that thought -- I'll be back in 12 hours.'

'They're plowing you? -- how does it feel?', 'Groovy!'

"Relax, he can't see us from here."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

God Sneezes Out Creation

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Clown God

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

'You caught it, you gut it!'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'Gravity...Go figure!'

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

"Not now, Oliver."

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

The Origins of Everything

Science fiction fans on other planets

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

Shoot For The Moon