Academic Joker Gifts

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

'What would you say if I told you that we weren't cheating, but merely social networking?'

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

'I started going to school with Mary and loved it so much I kept on going and ended up with a PhD...'

'I didn't cheat doing the assignment. I just outsourced the work to a kid in India. '

'It's outrageous - they don't want to be proper students like us at all - they come here to work!'

'But your book proved that gravity is a very weak force.'

Victim of Ph.D. pollution.

The university is naming a chair for me - in the lounge.

'The average college graduate has $29,400 in student debt. How come you have $37,000?'

History. The worst past is my dad says they're still making history!

'I hope it's a taste test. There are no right or wrong answers on a taste test.'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

I'm majoring in delusional studies.

Laboratory: Protons /Electrons/Morons

'A book report? Wouldn't that be a copyright violation?'

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

'I recommend you major in something other than meat.'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Intelligent people laugh too!

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

Interdisciplinary studies.

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

'What rhymes with D minus?'

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"So, in conclusion, I would like to say that although I haven't actually read the book, I still found it a fascinating and enriching experience.

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."