Educational Joker Gifts

'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''

"If I forget something I learned before and then remember it again, will it count as something I learned today?"

"I think those are just to keep the teachers from leaving."

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

it's back to school time, Frank. I think I have everything I need. I have a new backpack, pens, pencils, erasers, notebooks and, of course, a mask. We don't need those anymore. Speak for yourself. Zzzzzzz.

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

"But, Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

History. The worst past is my dad says they're still making history!

Laboratory: Protons /Electrons/Morons

"First period music always leaves me with a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day."

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

'It's a guess. I never said it was an educated guess.'

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

'You got everyfink Bruv? Stink bombs, pea shooter, dead frogs . . .'

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

'No, fear isn't one of the basic taste sensations.'

"Aw, Miss! Why do you always pick on me to answer the questions?"

"This year, I'm starting school with a positive attitude! You have my word...I'm waiting till the second week of school to call it the worst year of my life."

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

'Your student Clara has tested as Talented and Gifted. But only in metal sculpting. You'll need to start incorporating metal sculpting into your daily lesson plans starting...tomorrow.'

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

'But your book proved that gravity is a very weak force.'

"So...what did you learn in school today, Baldo?"

Final Exams Today

Do I get extra credit for neatness?