Educational Jokester Gifts

'This is not the seating plan your teacher left me.'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

Man at Pearly Gates, sign: Some college perferred

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Math Teacher

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

A crab with a utility knife claw

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

'People, get a half-life!'

'Hard or soft science?'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'