Educational Jokester Pillows

'This is not the seating plan your teacher left me.'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

Man at Pearly Gates, sign: Some college perferred

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

Math Teacher

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

A crab with a utility knife claw

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

'Did you know there's a river in Brazil named after Amazon?'

'Hard or soft science?'

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

'People, get a half-life!'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."