Education Jokester Pillows

'An F? How do you get an F in 'Gathering?''

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

"He wants to study bacteria to relate to the counter culture."

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

'Hard or soft science?'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

"It's the formula for a black hole."

'Lately, I've been thinking a lot about evolution. My theory is that it all points to 'survival of the fattest'.'

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

"Information is moved via neurotransmitters from neuron to neuron via the synapses into the brain where it is then retrieved by the memory via a slap on the back of the head."

'But it may be easier to understand the meaning of bioengineered life.'

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

At first, Moses was worried about the manna from heaven.