School-time Jokester Pillows

"But, Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"