School-time Jokester Pillows

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'