School Jokesters Pillows

Homework eating dogs

'We had a substitute today. Our teacher fled.'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'Maybe the batteries are dead.'

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

it's back to school time, Frank. I think I have everything I need. I have a new backpack, pens, pencils, erasers, notebooks and, of course, a mask. We don't need those anymore. Speak for yourself. Zzzzzzz.

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'