School Humorist Pillows

'My teacher says I'm an underachiever, but I think she's an overexpecter.'

'First, you have to get their attention.'

'I don't like to make assumptions, but something tells me they're not going to meet the required standards.'

''What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas' is all well and good, but this happens to be Windmill Point Elementary School.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

Math story problem

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I decided to come in today, Sir - There's nothing good on the T.V..'

'They never quit, do they?'

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"It's the last day of school. We have to clean out our desks."

'Just because everyone applauded when you dropped your lunch tray in the cafeteria, doesn't mean that you should pursue a career in show business.'

'It wasn't my fault. They asked me about things that happened before I was born.'

'Do you think our teacher liked kids when she was one?'

Jerry went extinct.

'Fluffy's first and last day as an exchange student' - "Okay everyone, playtime!"

"You're not allowed to plead guilty by reason of peer pressure."

'By the second week of instruction all first-graders should be able to count to one.'

"That's where we smoke the e-cigarettes.'

'Can we 'dumb it down' a bit, Mrs. Whipplemore?'

"No, that's NOT how you spell 'laugh'."

Mice taking lessons.

'I understand you are going to be my son's teacher this year. Let me start off by saying: I am so so sorry!'

"There is no complaint department, Robert."

'About this time of year, I start thinking of them in the past tense.'

'You've heard of the teacher's pet. Well I'm the teacher's pet peeve.'

'It just doesn't have the personality I found with human hall monitors.'

'Sir, I failed the exam because of 248 spelling mistakes. That's not my fault! The stupid pen didn't have a spellcheck app!'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

Guidance Counselor's boxes, 'push'--'shove'.

'No, Jacob. None of the classes this year require 3D glasses.'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

'Dracula's First Day of School.'