School Staffroom Humorist Pillows

'I thought I was ready for anything they could throw at me. I didn't know they had tomatoes.'

A Puppet Named Juan

Ethics exam cheater.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'But I digress...'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

'My science project is an experiment in static electricity.'

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

Big Bang Theory.

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'