School Day Humorist Pillows

'Headmaster I'd like to report Biggins and Small who were caught this morning consuming trans-fats behind the bicycle shed.'

"Hey! Paper aeroplanes don't grow on trees, you know!"

"Dad, how long do I have to go to school?"

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'