School Run Humorist Pillows

"Yes, you look presentable. Now get on!"

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'