Education Jokester Gifts

'An F? How do you get an F in 'Gathering?''

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

"He wants to study bacteria to relate to the counter culture."

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'Hard or soft science?'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

University. I never really understood geometry until the instructor brought up pizzas.

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'

"This'll show the Theology Department."

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

"But, Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

At first, Moses was worried about the manna from heaven.

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

'Lately, I've been thinking a lot about evolution. My theory is that it all points to 'survival of the fattest'.'

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

"Information is moved via neurotransmitters from neuron to neuron via the synapses into the brain where it is then retrieved by the memory via a slap on the back of the head."

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"It's the formula for a black hole."