College Jokester Gifts

Biff majored in business, but minored in mooning...

'My son is in college and switched out of engineering into fraternity partying. He days he finds it less intense.'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

'Hard or soft science?'

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

"This'll show the Theology Department."

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

Southwick College: Basically, for the most part, usually - a meritocracy.

'Wow, that sounds rigorous. What are the prerequisites for living in my mom's basement?'

Student writing on blackboard - I will not egg the principal's car.

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

Undergraduate and don

Little known fact: I spent a semester at Reed College in Portland. "Little known facts" are supposed to be momentous. Well, the little known fact is, while I was there, I asked a lady out

How about you? Have you picked a major?

Big man on Krampus

'What's our exit strategy?'

Graduation Day At A Party School

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"