Jokester On Campus Gifts

"My professor didn't expect me to graduate."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

Don't you hate...

'Hard or soft science?'

Scientists continue their research on the Hippocampus.

"You never giggle and read cartoon captions to me anymore."

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"This'll show the Theology Department."

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

"Okay...just this once...but no more practice swings!"

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

'So, in college what did you major in' - 'Business poetry.'

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

"About these experiements of yours into genetic cloning, Bond" boomed the Headmaster, "They must cease immediately"

How about you? Have you picked a major?

That's Roderick Sloan, the Alvin Meriwether professor of business administration, and with him is Alvin Meriwether, the Roderick Sloan professor of economics.

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'

"Don’t you just love professor Dahl’s lectures on Tibetan rawhide?"

Little known fact: I spent a semester at Reed College in Portland. "Little known facts" are supposed to be momentous. Well, the little known fact is, while I was there, I asked a lady out

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

Undergraduate and don

Big man on Krampus