Campus Humor Gifts

"It's amazing how much Junior has changed after only a few weeks away at college..."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

Don't you hate...

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

Scientists continue their research on the Hippocampus.

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

'Dude, you gotta lay off the Mac n' Cheese!'

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

'So, in college what did you major in' - 'Business poetry.'

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'

"Don’t you just love professor Dahl’s lectures on Tibetan rawhide?"

That's Roderick Sloan, the Alvin Meriwether professor of business administration, and with him is Alvin Meriwether, the Roderick Sloan professor of economics.

Little known fact: I spent a semester at Reed College in Portland. "Little known facts" are supposed to be momentous. Well, the little known fact is, while I was there, I asked a lady out

"Along with 'Antimatter,' and 'Dark Matter,' we've recently discovered the existence of 'Doesn't Matter,' which appears to have no effect on the universe whatsoever."

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

Undergraduate and don

"I have to read this disclaimer: Any opinions expressed in this course belong to the professor and do not necessarily mean the university is left-wing."

'I got a darn D-plus, and that's WITH cheating!'

We have too many students! I know. Send them home!

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."

"I can't wait to get home and insult my parents from a position of authority."