Campus Comedy Fan Gifts

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'Mutation and natural selection? - That sounds awfully STRESSFUL!'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

Don't you hate...

Scientists continue their research on the Hippocampus.

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'Dude, you gotta lay off the Mac n' Cheese!'

'So, in college what did you major in' - 'Business poetry.'

"Don’t you just love professor Dahl’s lectures on Tibetan rawhide?"

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'

That's Roderick Sloan, the Alvin Meriwether professor of business administration, and with him is Alvin Meriwether, the Roderick Sloan professor of economics.

Undergraduate and don

"I have to read this disclaimer: Any opinions expressed in this course belong to the professor and do not necessarily mean the university is left-wing."

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

We have too many students! I know. Send them home!

"I can't wait to get home and insult my parents from a position of authority."

"I was just transferred to the fraternity word."