Campus Comedy Lover Gifts

'It's outrageous - they don't want to be proper students like us at all - they come here to work!'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'Mutation and natural selection? - That sounds awfully STRESSFUL!'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

Don't you hate...

Scientists continue their research on the Hippocampus.

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'Dude, you gotta lay off the Mac n' Cheese!'

'So, in college what did you major in' - 'Business poetry.'

'If it makes you feel any better, I gave the kid you copied from the same grade.'

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

That's Roderick Sloan, the Alvin Meriwether professor of business administration, and with him is Alvin Meriwether, the Roderick Sloan professor of economics.

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'

"Don’t you just love professor Dahl’s lectures on Tibetan rawhide?"

Little known fact: I spent a semester at Reed College in Portland. "Little known facts" are supposed to be momentous. Well, the little known fact is, while I was there, I asked a lady out

Undergraduate and don

"I have to read this disclaimer: Any opinions expressed in this course belong to the professor and do not necessarily mean the university is left-wing."

Math Class. Rm 217. I don't know how many time I've failed a math test.

Campus. Professor Frump is the most respected faculty member here. All the other professors want to be noticed by him. This semester he's teaching three classes. But for some unknown reason lots of students are dropping the second one. He asked why this is happening. Hoping to impress him, sociology and economics scholars rushed to present him with their theories. I guess he should have been more specific when he questioned with the middle class is disappearing.

We have too many students! I know. Send them home!

"I can't wait to get home and insult my parents from a position of authority."

"I was just transferred to the fraternity word."