Campus Comedy Admirer Gifts

Medical School. Dean's Office. You were flunking out. Did your midterm exams improve the outlook? I don't know what the prognosis is. They said my test results were inconclusive.

'Hmph. College kids.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

M.T. accidentally triggers the predator pursuit response.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Moses' Tablet

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'Yorick? No, I don't think so, unless of course he was a Neanderthal!'

Falstaff

Cat Burglar

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

Caption contest. After last year's 3,000 entries, we're doing it again! Visit Speedbump.com for info and send your entries to speedbumpcomic@comcast.net.

Wordplay: In The Bag.

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

If humans instead of dinosaurs had lived when the big asteroid hit.

Hamlet

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

"Another flue shot, Larry.

'No, Ben, making your eyes go bigger does not make the fish grow bigger!'

"What other tricks does he need?"

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'Mutation and natural selection? - That sounds awfully STRESSFUL!'

Storm in a magic lamp.

Cheating Death.

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"