College Comedy Appreciator Gifts

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

'Hmph. College kids.'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

Fly Fishing

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

The Pink Bantha

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

Conservation Area

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

"Did you just do a rooster?"

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

All-Verbal Westerns

'Mutation and natural selection? - That sounds awfully STRESSFUL!'

Moulin Rouge Security

Golfer mistakes a hen's egg for his golf ball.

"A haand gel...!?"

"All stories have been told, all songs have been sung. But that won't stop us from making movie reboots."

"Play dead!" "What a long strange trip its been..."