College Comedy Fans Gifts

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

"You want mechanical engineering down the hall. This is maniacal engineering."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'Hmph. College kids.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

"That'll be five bucks."

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

'Mutation and natural selection? - That sounds awfully STRESSFUL!'

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"He says he's sure this isn't Wildwood. Did you put batteries in the GPS?"

Standard & Poor

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

Don't you hate...

Yakety-Yak