Student Humor Gifts

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

Teacher's pet dog

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

"What did you study in school today, Gracie?"

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

'Is it okay if I'm represented by counsel on open-school night?'

'When I was your age, an 'A' did not stand for 'adequate'.'

"I've got news for you. Kids don't have a union and doing your homework is not negotiable."

'How do you like school?'

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

'I know it hasn't any wheels...They're still in the pencil.

"Romeo & Juliet were totally hooking up! ...but then things got weird."

"Next, I will make the excitement and enthusiasm of the start of the school year disappear."

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'