School Humor Gifts

Dog Obedience School: 'I ate my homework.'

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

"What, eat your homework? Again?"

"How do you expect me to read your book report? It's chicken scratch."

Calculator Jokes

Steadman - The Early Years.

'You missed school today, didn't you?'

The Jim Carrey of fish is a real cutup in shool!

"Why can I only cross 'right' or 'wrong'? What about 'I don't care', 'I don't give a damn' or 'How should I know'?"

"Tech support? I want to get my grades encrypted."

'Write an essay on what I did last summer? Wouldn't that be a conflict of interest?'

Teacher's pet dog

"It's a subpoena from the principal!"

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"