School Humor Prints

Dog Obedience School: 'I ate my homework.'

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

"What, eat your homework? Again?"

"How do you expect me to read your book report? It's chicken scratch."

Calculator Jokes

'You missed school today, didn't you?'

"Why can I only cross 'right' or 'wrong'? What about 'I don't care', 'I don't give a damn' or 'How should I know'?"

"Tech support? I want to get my grades encrypted."

'Write an essay on what I did last summer? Wouldn't that be a conflict of interest?'

Teacher's pet dog

"It's a subpoena from the principal!"

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'