School Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'Is this gonna be on the test?'

'The Principal suspended me-- School is the only place in the world where you can get time off for bad behavior.'

'The good news is that you don't have any long-term memory loss. The bad news is it's all MIDTERM memory loss.'

Aversion Therapy

Freshman Ronnie Klumpf wisely outfitted himself with a wedgie deterrent system.

'Jimmy! Will you stop texting on your mobile phone. We are trying to discuss how technology has changed society!'

'They sure know how to ruin someones summer!'

'I know you were elected class president...'

'I'm glad to hear that my son is the class clown.'

"It's our new policy ,if the children don't turn up then the parent's have to!"

'He says he doesn't give a toss about Jamie Oliver but, if you can get Kylie Minogue to approve it, he'll eat it.'

'My mother signed my report card but it got smudged by her tears.'

"If you give me a good grade in summer school I'll give you a good grade on rating my school teachers."

"Here's my report card, Dad, but before you say anything, I should warn you that Grandma gave me your fourth grade report card!"

First day at school

"You have to not only show your answer, you have to show how you got your answer."

'No, I'm not interested in finding a career as of yet, but I would like you to find my math teacher a new one.'

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

A child is suffering from 'Attention Surplus Disorder'

"What did I learn in school today? How should I know?"

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

'Boys will be boys, but principals will also be principals!'

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

'I do not permit bullying or name calling in class. I will reprimand any student that calls your child a dummy.'

Report Card.

'She's suspendered from her previous school.'

'No.'

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

'A wolf ate my grandma and my homework.'

'I'm your teacher - you can't fire me.'

'Hold it right there, missy! You're not going to school dressed like that!'

Teacher to mother: 'He's been transferred from Detetion to a Minimum Security Facility.'

'Sarah, are you still with us? You have that screen-saver look in your eyes.'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'