School Humor Aficionado Gifts

'How was school today?', 'Too much information!'

'Yes, your son does ask questions in class but they're always 'Can I have the hall pass?'.'

Teenage Vegetables

"Can I help it if a Russian hacker broke in and changed all my A's to D's?"

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

'I've eaten so much homework that I'm starting to age in paper years.'

"Send security. A flash mob has overrun my office."

"If it really is a smartphone, why are my grades still lousy?"

"Stop saying, 'you do the math'. I flunked math!"

"I'm the acting superintendent. I oversee all the drama and theatre programs."

"Don't be fooled. He isn't a prince and he isn't you pal!"

'When I left, the teacher was arising phoenix-like.'

'Since when did we start getting report cards, too?'

'Timmy sent me e-mail from his hand-held computer. He's locked in the boys' bathroom and can't get out.'

"What do you mean you ate the report?"

'I asked them to behave like adults, and they ranted, they raved, and they cussed a blue streak!'

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

'Yes, I flunked history, but at least I now understand that quote, 'Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.''

'I can confidently say that James will go down in history - and probably in maths and geography as well...'

'I was hoping we'd worn that out.'

It makes no sense. The number of books that can be stored on a small device is constantly increasing, yet school kids seem to be lugging around bigger backpacks every year!

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'