School Humor Aficionados Gifts

"Oh well, if you really want to see some scary chest thumping, come with me now and I'll show my school report to my dad..."

"My grades will get better. I discovered some potentially embarrassing things about my teacher."

"I'm doing fine but my parents got bad conduct marks again."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

Billy strip: help with homework.

Teacher's pet dog

It makes no sense. The number of books that can be stored on a small device is constantly increasing, yet school kids seem to be lugging around bigger backpacks every year!

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

'It's Johnny Taylor's snowsuit, but I don't think he's in there.'

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

"If it really is a smartphone, why are my grades still lousy?"

'That's what you get for skipping geometry class.'

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'