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'Is this gonna be on the test?'

'The Principal suspended me-- School is the only place in the world where you can get time off for bad behavior.'

'I know you were elected class president...'

'Jimmy! Will you stop texting on your mobile phone. We are trying to discuss how technology has changed society!'

'They sure know how to ruin someones summer!'

Aversion Therapy

"It's our new policy ,if the children don't turn up then the parent's have to!"

'I'm glad to hear that my son is the class clown.'

"If you give me a good grade in summer school I'll give you a good grade on rating my school teachers."

"Here's my report card, Dad, but before you say anything, I should warn you that Grandma gave me your fourth grade report card!"

'My mother signed my report card but it got smudged by her tears.'

A child is suffering from 'Attention Surplus Disorder'

'No, I'm not interested in finding a career as of yet, but I would like you to find my math teacher a new one.'

First day at school

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

"What did I learn in school today? How should I know?"

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

"You have to not only show your answer, you have to show how you got your answer."

'Hold it right there, missy! You're not going to school dressed like that!'

'A wolf ate my grandma and my homework.'

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

'I do not permit bullying or name calling in class. I will reprimand any student that calls your child a dummy.'

'Boys will be boys, but principals will also be principals!'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

'She's suspendered from her previous school.'

"You can't be needing another break - the kids have only been back a week!"

'No.'

'I'm your teacher - you can't fire me.'

Teacher to mother: 'He's been transferred from Detetion to a Minimum Security Facility.'

'Sarah, are you still with us? You have that screen-saver look in your eyes.'

'Mrs. Finnegan put me in the accelerated recess program!'

'How am I supposed to know anything about the English Channel? It's not even on our cable system.'

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