School Run Humor Gifts

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

"A laser blaster turns pesky little boys into ferns! Now that would be a cool school supply."