High School Humor Gifts

'C'mon, Billy, we need another quarter!'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

'We can't get rid of her - she has tenure.'

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"A laser blaster turns pesky little boys into ferns! Now that would be a cool school supply."