Student Life Humor Gifts

'It says, 'stand under an open manhole'.'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

"What did you study in school today, Gracie?"

Back to school: The Horror,

Teacher's pet dog

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

'Dude, you gotta lay off the Mac n' Cheese!'

Rapunzel as a child.

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

Steadman - The Early Years.

Breakfast at Universities

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

"Mom says teachers wear many hats. . . and I can't wear just one??"

"I've got news for you. Kids don't have a union and doing your homework is not negotiable."

'When I was your age, an 'A' did not stand for 'adequate'.'

'I saw the school nurse put that sign up.'

"My mom wants you to dispense my happy pill just before I get on the bus for home."

"4 out of 3 people struggle with math"

'I got a darn D-plus, and that's WITH cheating!'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Goes To College

'You heard! There's no way I'm cooking for you!'

The Jim Carrey of fish is a real cutup in shool!

Announcement over school PA: 'We're going to begin this week with an all-school search for Mr. Ridley - last Friday's substitute teacher.'

'My son is away at college, majoring in communications. He never calls and he never writes.'

"Why can I only cross 'right' or 'wrong'? What about 'I don't care', 'I don't give a damn' or 'How should I know'?"

"Tech support? I want to get my grades encrypted."

"Let me guess, you joined Alpha Delta Dogma"

The Pi Advantage

Girl to other re: Drama Class: 'Is that where all the girls gossip and fight over guys?'

"Here's my final exam. My lawyer said I didn't have to answer any of these questions."