Student Humor Lover Gifts

"I'd like a rebate because I don't intent to be attending any lectures..."

'Hmph. College kids.'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

"What did you study in school today, Gracie?"

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

'Is it okay if I'm represented by counsel on open-school night?'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

'I know it hasn't any wheels...They're still in the pencil.

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

"Next, I will make the excitement and enthusiasm of the start of the school year disappear."

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'How do you like school?'

"I've got news for you. Kids don't have a union and doing your homework is not negotiable."

'When I was your age, an 'A' did not stand for 'adequate'.'